Tell me what you think! I'm trying to gauge their humor.
1. Me? Believe in Evolutionary biology? When pigs fly.
2. People would stop underestimating God if He stopped using the conjunction "ain't."
3. I think the first thing Adam said when he saw Satan in the garden was, "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes??" And his name was actually Indiana Jones.
4. Jesus said a lot of great things. They should put them in a book. And put one in every bathroom so people could have something to read.
5. If I were John the Baptist, and everyone thought I was crazy, I would have clucked like a chicken every time I spoke. Hey, I’d be crazy not to.
6. I bet Jesus is just waiting for gas prices to go back down before He returns, because come on, three dollars? Not on a carpenter's salary.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Deeper Holy Crap
Holy Craps I'm working on...
1. Samson was the first successful hippie. He had long hair and brought down the establishment with his bare hands. Oh yeah, he also ate honey from a dead donkey’s jaw bone. Hippies do that, right?
2. If planes were around when Pontius Pilate was alive, I bet he would have bought a jet, and flown that thing all over the place.
3. When Judas looked in to the eyes of Jesus on the night he betrayed him, he was shocked. Had his beard always been that long?
4. I walk a fine line between blasphemy and heresy. Unfortunately I walk it like a college student on spring break.
5. When the Devil sneezes, it’s blastphlegmy.
6. One of the Israelites who were fed up with the Manna God was miraculously providing, often complained, “Manna, I’ma tired of thisa bread.” His name was Mario. He just wanted some mushrooms and to save the princess, but she was in another castle.
7. When the floodwaters started pouring down, Noah probably opened an umbrella and said, “Tut, tut, looks like rain.” One the red-shirted, yellow bears on board replied, “Oh, bother.” Time to lay off the peyote, Noah.
1. Samson was the first successful hippie. He had long hair and brought down the establishment with his bare hands. Oh yeah, he also ate honey from a dead donkey’s jaw bone. Hippies do that, right?
2. If planes were around when Pontius Pilate was alive, I bet he would have bought a jet, and flown that thing all over the place.
3. When Judas looked in to the eyes of Jesus on the night he betrayed him, he was shocked. Had his beard always been that long?
4. I walk a fine line between blasphemy and heresy. Unfortunately I walk it like a college student on spring break.
5. When the Devil sneezes, it’s blastphlegmy.
6. One of the Israelites who were fed up with the Manna God was miraculously providing, often complained, “Manna, I’ma tired of thisa bread.” His name was Mario. He just wanted some mushrooms and to save the princess, but she was in another castle.
7. When the floodwaters started pouring down, Noah probably opened an umbrella and said, “Tut, tut, looks like rain.” One the red-shirted, yellow bears on board replied, “Oh, bother.” Time to lay off the peyote, Noah.
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